Is Your Relationship Abusive?

Relationship violence occurs when one partner attempts to maintain power and control over the other. Research suggests that thousands of young adults are physically, emotionally and sexually abused by their dating partners every year. Below is a list of questions to help determine if you or someone you know is involved in an abusive relationship.

• Are you ever scared by what your partner might do when he/she gets mad?
• To avoid arguments, do you regularly give in to what your partner wants?
• Does your partner ever tell you you're too fat, ugly, stupid, useless, cold...?
• Have you ever been pushed, shoved, slapped, hit or kicked by your partner?
• Have you ever felt pressured to have sex when you weren't in the mood?
• Does your partner accuse you of flirting with others or cheating on him/her?
• Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by the relationship? Are you finding it difficult to make time for anything else?
• Does your partner always want to know where you are and who you are with?

Dating Bill of Rights

I Have the Right . . .

• To be physically, emotionally and sexually respected
• To be myself and not change to suit others
• To refuse a date without feeling guilty
• To share equally in the decision making
• To have other friends
• To express my opinions and have them respected
• To have my needs be as important as my partner's
• To have my feelings about intimacy respected
• To be responsible for my own behavior
• To act the way I am comfortable
• To end a relationship
• To not be physically, emotionally or sexually abused
• To change my mind

_{Adapted in part from Rivers of Hope, Elk River, MN}

Parents – How You Can Help

• Listen to your teens
• Believe them
• Understand what they are saying
• Validate their feelings and strengths
• Help devise a safety plan
• Protect their right to confidentiality
• Support their right to control their lives
• Provide helpful resource information
• Help them understand that the violence is not their fault

_{Adapted in part from Domestic Violence Project/SAFE House, Ann Arbor, MI}

Jovenes